Q&A on angry words

In the previous post, I have shared some limited beliefs that make angry words easily burst out from your mouse. I know many of you will agree with what I said in that post, but there are still some questions to be answered:

1. Will I be looked down upon if I keep back those angry words?

Remember that the true power comes from your within. Your cool head, peaceful mind and tolerant attitude are the greatest and strongest powers in others’s eyes.

If you can be easily annoyed, you are not among the brave and the wise. In their eyes, a man who is easy to become angry is also easy to be defeated or even looked down upon.

Keep peaceful, open minded and always have a light smile on your face, then you will be respected and admired by others. They will be amazed why you can get so calm to deal with anything, whether it is little or big troublesome thing.

2. Why can he/she speak out the angry words but I can’t?

The answer is you want to be a real wise and strong man/woman.

You can act just as he or she does, but if you would do it, you will lose your power and freedom to seek for your own greatness, wisdom and inner power. You let your partner guide your words, emotions and even actions. In one word, in that moment, you let others create your own reality.

You keep silent just because you want to grow up in the physical world, in fact, in your heart, you also want to get improved in your inner world. When you calm down, you will feel fortunate and pride that you take the right action and step closer to a more perfect you.

3. It is his/her wrong, why can’t I let the angry words out?

In fact, I don’t think it is easy to really keep back angry words if you don’t know the law of attraction. Here, I suppose that you are familiar with the law of attraction or at least know of it. if not, please refer to some books, such as “ask and it is given” and “the secret“. If you want to get peaceful and really great and strong, you can’t miss them.

It is only you who attract everything into your life, including the bad situations you don’t want to experience. your negative thoughts, ideas, actions and words create your now experience.

So It is only you too who can change the present situation. yes, you can let everything be, just by default, but what you will get? perhaps better or perhaps worse. But if you decide to take your responsibility deliberately, you will change your experience.

And so you should keep back and clear anger from your heart and body for they can only attract the same things. Your partner is just the imagination in your own reality. You are a watcher in your own world( if you want to find scientific evidences or explanations, watch the movie “what the bleep do we know” ).

4. If I keep silent, will he/she change to keep silent too?

The correct answer is uncertain. but don’t feel disappointed. compared with the situation that the angry words were let out, the current will be better and you will experience shorter unhappy period too.

But I don’t mean that you can change your partner too. In fact, you can’t change him/her at any time directly. There exists no any magic power that can control him/her to let him/her change. But although they will not change, but in your eyes, they are changing.

This is just the magic and great power that the law of attraction has. You can’t change him/her, but you can attract his/her goodness into your physical world(what you are seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and feeling) if you are sending out vibrations that represent good feelings.

So the true result, in your eyes, you will find he/she is changed to keep silent more than before. but perhaps in others eyes, they keep the same as before.

5. Can I only speak out just one angry word?

No, the best is to keep any angry word back. Angry word has big negative vibration, which is once sent out, will attract more. that is to say, one angry word will attract more negative vibrations from your partners, no matter they are in actions or in words or just thoughts.

6. What shall I do if I am still very angry although I keep silent?

first, keep silent, then try to meditate for 10~15 minutes. After these activities, ask yourself: what do I really want from my partner?
with this question, begin your smile meditation or mental appreciation.

Don’t think this process will take you too much time. it is only 30 minutes. But what you will get? Stepping closer to your inner self and getting greater, wiser and stronger.

[tags]temper control, angry words, control temper, law of attraction, meditation, mental appreciation[tags]

Easy temper control using gratitude list

Using gratitude list helps us regain our controllability and peace deep in the heart. It is the peace or well-being in our heart which making us feel better and control temper better.

Tags: gratitude list, temper control, well-being, peace

In the previous article on temper control towards our lover, I have shared a practical way based on creative visualization.
Creative visualization is really a good method, while to make effect better we will need much practice. A most important point to use creative visualization is to form a good image on our lovers. We have many ways attaining this purpose and gratitude list is one of the most effective.

In fact, gratitude list is not only effective for temper control, but also for keeping a positive and happy mind set.

1. Why use gratitude list?

Whenever we feel bad, there must be something which we don’t want or like. All the things happened are objective, but our attitudes towards them are subjective, which will greatly influence our emotion, sometimes even throw us into the abyss of despair.

If we can move our attention away from the things we don’t want right now, we can feel better at once. But it is easier said than done for many people. We have observed many friends who can control their temper well, for example, they will keep silent, go away or even play a joke in that situation. For many of us, we perhaps burst out shouting or took even worse measure. But in fact, we all know two facts when we calm down:

1. The matters creating quarrel are always not worthy and there are always way out for them.

2. We always feel regretful for losing temper, especially when hurt has been made.

The two facts above show that we always forget to move our attention away from the bad things, bad looking or bad feelings.
We always can find the beauty and advantages of each other when calm down, while we ignore them all when losing temper. What is the reason?

It is because that the advantages we have found are shadowy and unvalued enough.

Some friends perhaps will argue about this reason, but let’s suppose such a situation: if we can recall the ad-vantages of our partner clearly and really value them, we will realize that lose temper means to destroy all our awareness of these advantages and will kill our advantages realized by our partners. So It will be easier for us to control ourselves better or even change our thoughts on the bad things.

Gratitude list is just such a tool to reminder us of the good and advantages of our partners. It is simple but when used properly, it is really effective and can bring more controllability of us.

2. How to make gratitude list?

Gratitude list is only a tool. You can just make it in your mind; write it in your journal in the computer or with a papery tool, such as a notebook. Each of these three ways is ok. It only depends on which way you like most. For me, I tend to use a notebook. Here are my reasons for this choice:

I always easily forget the list when making gratitude list in my mind and it leaves nothing for me. While writing using computer software, I always feel that words written using typing software will make me lose the benefit of emphasizing these words compared with handwriting. Using a papery tool seems slow, but I can adjust the speed when writing, and I am familiar with my own font and I can emphasize the list during the writing process.

Make sure that you have list all the things you have thought of on your lover. Try to feel his/her advantages or good while writing, if you like, you can use different font and color to complete this list or add your own ornaments to make the list interesting. It is certain that we will come to calm down during this process and the good feeling towards your lover will come back to you.

Gratitude list can be a daily work because that if we can always find the advantages of our lover, we will find that our good feelings are become more and more, then the times of losing temper will become less. In fact, using gratitude list helps us regain our controllability and peace deep in the heart. It is the peace or well-being in our heart which making us feel better and control temper better.