Easy temper control using gratitude list

Using gratitude list helps us regain our controllability and peace deep in the heart. It is the peace or well-being in our heart which making us feel better and control temper better.

Tags: gratitude list, temper control, well-being, peace

In the previous article on temper control towards our lover, I have shared a practical way based on creative visualization.
Creative visualization is really a good method, while to make effect better we will need much practice. A most important point to use creative visualization is to form a good image on our lovers. We have many ways attaining this purpose and gratitude list is one of the most effective.

In fact, gratitude list is not only effective for temper control, but also for keeping a positive and happy mind set.

1. Why use gratitude list?

Whenever we feel bad, there must be something which we don’t want or like. All the things happened are objective, but our attitudes towards them are subjective, which will greatly influence our emotion, sometimes even throw us into the abyss of despair.

If we can move our attention away from the things we don’t want right now, we can feel better at once. But it is easier said than done for many people. We have observed many friends who can control their temper well, for example, they will keep silent, go away or even play a joke in that situation. For many of us, we perhaps burst out shouting or took even worse measure. But in fact, we all know two facts when we calm down:

1. The matters creating quarrel are always not worthy and there are always way out for them.

2. We always feel regretful for losing temper, especially when hurt has been made.

The two facts above show that we always forget to move our attention away from the bad things, bad looking or bad feelings.
We always can find the beauty and advantages of each other when calm down, while we ignore them all when losing temper. What is the reason?

It is because that the advantages we have found are shadowy and unvalued enough.

Some friends perhaps will argue about this reason, but let’s suppose such a situation: if we can recall the ad-vantages of our partner clearly and really value them, we will realize that lose temper means to destroy all our awareness of these advantages and will kill our advantages realized by our partners. So It will be easier for us to control ourselves better or even change our thoughts on the bad things.

Gratitude list is just such a tool to reminder us of the good and advantages of our partners. It is simple but when used properly, it is really effective and can bring more controllability of us.

2. How to make gratitude list?

Gratitude list is only a tool. You can just make it in your mind; write it in your journal in the computer or with a papery tool, such as a notebook. Each of these three ways is ok. It only depends on which way you like most. For me, I tend to use a notebook. Here are my reasons for this choice:

I always easily forget the list when making gratitude list in my mind and it leaves nothing for me. While writing using computer software, I always feel that words written using typing software will make me lose the benefit of emphasizing these words compared with handwriting. Using a papery tool seems slow, but I can adjust the speed when writing, and I am familiar with my own font and I can emphasize the list during the writing process.

Make sure that you have list all the things you have thought of on your lover. Try to feel his/her advantages or good while writing, if you like, you can use different font and color to complete this list or add your own ornaments to make the list interesting. It is certain that we will come to calm down during this process and the good feeling towards your lover will come back to you.

Gratitude list can be a daily work because that if we can always find the advantages of our lover, we will find that our good feelings are become more and more, then the times of losing temper will become less. In fact, using gratitude list helps us regain our controllability and peace deep in the heart. It is the peace or well-being in our heart which making us feel better and control temper better.